Thursday Thirteen #11
13 things about Dane Bramage
The Daydream Edition
I sometimes let my mind wander and I can imagine all sorts of stuff. Sometimes you can get to know someone by what they daydream about. I wish I could take credit for this list idea but I saw it at someone else's blog. I promised them I would steal it and I am being true to my word. So here are 13 of my daydreams.
- I discover the means of genetically merging physical and mental traits from different people. I create an amalgam of Dr. Condoleeza Rice and Angelina Jolie. Congelina and I are happy for awhile until she runs off with an amalgam of Brad Pitt and George W. Bush.
- I become CEO of a powerful pharmaceutical company; DaneMax, and revolutionize the industry by making pills that actually cure diseases instead of treating symptoms for life. I run the risk of going out of business as my pills cure diseases like diabetes and therefore reduce the market but I pull out of my fiscal dive when I discover a pill that tones muscles and melts fat while you sleep. I suddenly become responsible for the Great Era of Excess.
- Sometimes I dream that I become CEO of a mega-rich oil company Daneoco. I decide that billions in profits were just too much and slash my profit margin to mere millions. The resultant boost to the economy ushers in a new era of prosperity in the U.S. Oddly enough I discover that as a oil company CEO I need billions in profits to maintain my lifestyle so I wind up living in a huge DaneMax box under the interstate overpass.
- I also sometimes imagine that I am an insurance pioneer. I believe that our current insurance system is fatally flawed because it makes adversaries of the customers and the company. If the customer is served then the company loses money. The only time the company makes money is when they don't pay on the customer's behalf. There is something wrong there. So I magically fixed it and get my insurance company and the customers on he same side. We do great until the old-school insurance companies offer the shareholders more money than most third world governments have and buys my company. Then they destroy it and go back to the old ways. I am forced to move in with that idiot oil CEO in the interstate overpass DaneMax box.
- My last business daydream involves starting a car company that develops an engine that sucks hydrogen from the air and water to augment it's internal combustion engine. This results in a motor that gets 500 miles to the gallon. Either big oil or big automakers decide to do something about it. My interstate overpass DaneMax box is getting pretty full.
- I sometimes wonder what my best friend's feet would look like as shoes. I wonder if they would keep my feet warm in an interstate overpass DaneMax box.
- I sometimes imagine starting a family in space with Jeri Ryan as Seven-of-Nine. She ultimately assimilates me and I don't mind a bit. This has come to replace my daydream where I crash land on the Planet of Bouncy Mary-Lou Retton Clones.
- I have a lot of political daydreams. As governor of Ohio, I reduce welfare roles, increase jobs by lowering taxes and inviting companies to invest in our state. I would make the state keep it's promise and take down the toll booths on I-80. I'd give those idiots in that DaneMax box under the overpass jobs (well all of them except the guy with the weird feet shoes). I can't imagine anything bad happening to me. I used to think I would get assassinated for being the first Black governor of Ohio, but Ken Blackwell is going to pave the way so that me and the other black Republican in Ohio can daydream without fear. Thanks Ken!
- Daydreaming that I am a Senator I propose legislation that protects all religious symbols on government property as historical artifacts dedicated to the beliefs of the men and women who put them there. Separate church and state all you want but don't tear down significant historic symbology.
- Also as Senator I would do whatever it took to bring the abortion issue to a head and make the murder of defenseless babies a heinous crime. I sometimes see myself being mobbed by rabid pro-abortionist but I happily and easily fend them off with a titanium clue bat.
- Sometimes I imagine myself as President of the United States of America. I commission the building of the Great Wall of America. 20 feet tall with a two lane road on top so the armed hum-vees can drag race from Florida to California. The gates to Mexico are in a natural closed position needing a powerful key/wench system so massive to open it takes a truck to carry it to the gate. And when the gate needs to be closed, the truck simply drives away and the gate automatically lowers to the closed position.
- As President of the United States of America my mid-east foreign policy would be simplified. Israel deserves to exist. Israel should not give up another inch of territory. Whatever Israel decides is necessary to insure her security, the United States will back both financially and militarily. I would then enrage the Euroweenies by challenging them to decide if they are for Israel or against. I sometimes imagine getting assassinated for being the first Black President. But sometimes I imagine the bullets bouncing right off my chest.
- Many times I imagine myself in my glorified body I enjoying all the Eden like beauty of this planet during the Millennium. I watch over Ten cities. I enjoy the peace. Move about from point A to point B with a thought. I explore vast expanses of outer space and see things unimaginable by man. I take great pleasure punishing the moonbats who still cling to their anti-God ways even though Jesus is in Jerusalem. I look forward to the pilgrimages and talking with The Saviour and enjoying all the spoils, the treasures laid up by the wicked. This is the best daydream of all because this is the one that will come true!
The rest of the list is below the fold. Go to the end of the post and click "We want to read more!"
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