Thursday Thirteen #45

13 Things About Dane Bramage

13 Photos of Horses and Hayrides Day at Church
Well for once I had my camera in the right place at the right time. Here are 13 photos I took of a recent church event. "Horses and Hayrides" always attracts the kids! You can click on the thumbnail for a larger image.

1. Horses Arrive This is the parking lot right after morning services have ended.


2. Setting Up The area behind the Bus Barn has been prepare for the horse circuit.


3. Lineup People get ready to ride the horses. You see the back of our bus fleet.


4. Pony Kid The horse owners brought a pony too. It was a big hit with my nephew!


5. Pretty Girls My niece waits to get down as they get little Emma on the pony. Emma didn't like being on the pony. Can someone tell my how my niece got a hole in her tights on the knee AT CHURCH??!!


6. Back 40 Here is shot of the back of the church property. We sit on about 9 acres of land. Plenty of room for expansion!


7. All Aboard Here they load up the kids for the hayride. My job was to maintain order. Easy. I threatened too sit on the kids and they straightened right up (except my nieces and nephews who knew I was bluffing).


8. Buildings Here is a shot taken from the hayride area looking back towards the three main buildings.


9. Zoom IN A Closer look.


10. Deacon Driving Everybody helps out in these events.


11. Here Comes the Tractor Keep Manhattan just gimme that country side...


12. Closeup Please keep arms and legs inside the wagon until the ride comes to a complete stop.


13. The Cowboy Way Some kids still like to play cowboys! This is Cowboy Ben and his mom (who graduated from our Christian academy along with Ben's Dad and got married in the church!)

I apologize for the quality of some of the pictures. They are really huge in my camera and I started too size them all down before deciding to post just the thumbnails. Live and learn.

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Star Wars and Legos

Wow! People tell me I have too much time on my hands. See the entire impressive Star Wars! and Legos slideshow here.

Just Plain Miscellany

Why have things been so quiet at Dane Bramage?

Well I have been really busy of late and when that happens I don't have a lot of time to cogitate on world events and the actions of moonbats. I am trying to get ready for my annual vacation (part one) and that isn't going as well as I would like.

Work is extra hectic because they always want me to double my workload before I leave for vacation and things on the home front are not without their own form of stress.

That said I don't want you to think my brain has been completely void of thought. I have been wondering about a few things in no particular order nor relevance;

Jimmy Carter. Does anyone other than himself feels he was NOT the worse President in the history of this nation? The reason the middle east thinks the U.S. is a bunch of simpering cowards is because of Carter's handling of the Iran Hostage situation. So where does he get off now criticizing Bush's foreign policy? Where does he get off criticizing Bush's anything? I thought Presidential etiquette prohibited former presidents from saying anything about sitting presidents? Reagan and Bush senior never said one word about Clinton while he was in office even in the middle of his sex scandal. But Jimmy Carter sees himself now as some sort of expert on middle east problems and has nothing but trash to talk about GW?. Well I guess in a sense he would be an expert on what not to do in a crisis.

Katrina Death Rate. Ever since President Bush accepted responsibility for the fiasco that was the disaster management of hurricane Katrina, the Democrats have happily laid the blame for every death since then at his feet. After millions of dollars of relief and rebuilding funds have poured into New Orleans, people are upset that doctors and other medical professionals have not returned to the city. The lack of doctors is being blamed for a higher death rate. Hmm, maybe the doctors don't want to practice underwater. I want to know when will dying in New Orleans no longer be connected to Katrina?

Go Cavs! Fellow Akronite LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers did us proud and basketball was exciting again. Next year for sure guys!

Amnesty for Illegal Aliens I am against it. I always have been. (My ancestors were unwilling immigrants but that is another issue.) I know far too many legal immigrants to ever support any form of amnesty. It seems amnesty supporters don't mind creating double standards. They don't mind slapping millions of people who gave up everyting to come to this country legally and become citizens right in the face. They don't mind favoring millions of people who sneak into our country to rob our taxpayers of their money without any intention of ever becoming American. That is so wrong on so many levels.

Paintings Immortalize Fallen Troops

Leave it to chrys at Pettifog's to find great human interest stories relating to our troops. Follow this link : Paintings immortalize fallen troops. Military Times Video The story is great.

KFC: We Do Chickens In

Ya know, some people just don't understand the whole food chain concept. Things at the top of the chain eat things lower down. Generally the things eaten are usually dead and in many cases their death has to be brought about.

Well tree huggers feel that somehow we should be kind to our food. Specifically PETA feels KFC needs to be nicer to chickens. They have a website where you can generate a sign. So I did. I don't think they would like it though. Being an old farm boy I grew up where parents would tell their kids "We're having chicken tonight, go get me a couple." And the kids would grab the chickens by the neck and wring them until their heads popped off. Oddly I wasn't scarred nor do I need therapy. Plus I eat KFC without a twinge of guilt.

I don't think people should intentionally torture animals. But is what KFC doing torture? Do the chickens know? Perhaps the PETA spokes person for this cause, Pamela Anderson, could tell us what the chickens are feeling. Or not.

Headlines for Monday 6/18/2007

3 Million in Japan Have Mental Illness
The majority suffer from a fear of giant radioactive lizards

Pentagon May Drop Mental Health Question
Three Million Japanese apply for security positions

Romney Says He Wants 'Big Stick'
Opening the door for millions of emails peddling stick enhancement products

Toddler Served Margarita in a Sippy Cup
Another typical holiday outing at the Kennedy Family Compound

L.A. Hospital Outlines Response to Death
Dead people are instructed not to move, speak or otherwise interact with the living. Decomposing is allowed.

30 Percent of Cubans Are Overweight
Richard Simmons boards plane for Havana

Soldiers revisit Iraq in virtual reality
Democrats hopeful that new technology will limit U.S. to invading virtual nations

Cucumber-Flavored Soda Sold in Japan
Pepsi says they can sell at least 3 million bottles

Some See Dead Mayor's Likeness in Tree
Like most Democrats he's hard to distinguish from the other nuts up there

Ronald McDonald statue turns up missing
There are no McLeads to the identites of the McPerps


That's it for Headlines today. Remember to visit the usual suspects for more "headliney goodness"!
basil at basil's blog
Technorati tag: Humor   Headlines

Thursday Thirteen #44

Thursday Thirteen #43

13 things about Dane Bramage

13 MegaMetaSmithees Nominated Movies
OMG! Is it that time again?!! What time you ask? Why time for the sexo-annual MegaMetaSmithees Awards! (okay I made up the word sexo-annual but it is suppose to mean every six years.) Every year I sojourn to the state capitol for the annual Smithee Awards! There are 19 categories, each with five of the worst movies ever put on film as nominees. The audience views the clips and votes for the winner. Simple right. Well after five years of awards, the previous winners are pitted against each other. Talk about tough and too close to call! Anyway I thought I would share with you the names of 13 of the nominated films so you know what to avoid (or look for) in the video store! The clever writing utilized in the synopsis are by Bryan Cassidy and Kevin Hogan from the Smithee Awards site.

1. Roller Blade Nominated in 5 categories The Holy Order of the Roller Blade is a group of roller-skating nuns whose holy symbol is a happy-face, in a post-apocalyptic world gone horribly, horribly wrong. Yet if this is so wrong, I don't want to be right. The nuns are opposed by a group of mutants lead by the evil Doctor Saticoy. The crisis points come when Doctor Saticoy steals the nuns' sacred power crystal, and kidnaps the Sheriff's son.


2. Guns of El Chupacabra Nominated in 4 categories This movie is perhaps the apex of the art of movie-making known as "Zen Filmmaking." No scripts are used in Zen Filmmaking. The "spontaneous creative energy" [sound of Kevin retching] of the director is the only guiding principle. Keeping that in mind, the plot of this film resembles a railroad switching yard. The various plot elements are chugging along, like trains, all heading toward the same spot. And the viewer sits in semi-darkness, anticipating the sleight-of-hand that will occur when these plot elements converge. The train wreck is truly awesome.


3. Deathsport Nominated in the "Wanna Run That By Me Again?" category In the far future, after the "Neutron Wars", humanity lives in two huge cities. The insane Lord Zirpola, leader of the city Tritan, has a new weapon that he intends to use against the inhabitants of his rival city, but first he wants to test it against some of the hardy Range Guides who strive to bring order to the blasted no-man's-land between the cities.


4. Gymkata Nominated in the "Alas, Poor Yorick" category Jonathan Cabot (Kurt Thomas) is a world-class gymnast. His father disappeared into the country of Parmistan many years ago. Now it's been decided that the country is the perfect site for a "Star Wars" base. However, the only way The Khan will ever allow a base to be built is if it is requested by the victor of The Game (the national bloodsport). Kurt has to combine his gymnastics with ... um ... well, he utilizes his gymnastics to compete in The Game.


5. Arcade Nominated in the "Deus Ex Machina" category Arcade is a video game. A really crappy video game, actually. And not just because it's evil. You lose, it gets your soul...and nobody's ever won. And the only way to stop it is for a girl who's no good at video games to go into the game and beat it from the inside


6. The Angry Red Planet Nominated in 2 categories A rocketship returns from Mars with two crewmembers missing, a third suffering from a mysterious ailment, and all their magnetic data tapes erased. The government is in a race to discover what has happened, in an attempt to save the life of the stricken crewmember. The movie takes place in flashback, and in "Cinemagic" (i.e. "migraine vision") when on the surface of Mars.


The rest of the list is below the fold. Go to the end of the post and click "We want to read more!"


7. World without End Nominated in the "Stupidest-Looking Monster" category A group of astronauts returning from a Mars mission fly through an unexplained time warp and end up on a 26th Century Earth. They need to find their way home, if they can, or find a safe place to live, if they can't.


8. Circuitry Man Nominated in the "Best One-Liner" catagory This is essentially a chase movie. Lori, a bodyguard, steals a case full of neuro-chips, and heads from LA to New York via the underground tunnels. Her companion is a pleasure android. They are being chased by a psychotic criminal named Plughead (Vernon Wells).


9. House of Exorcism Nominated in the "Cutting Butter With A Chainsaw" category This is a very bizarre Italian film starring Telly Savalas and Elke Sommer. This film is to The Exorcist what Time of the Apes was supposed to be to Planet of the Apes, in other words, a poor-quality ripoff. Elke gets possessed and goes on this strange interior journey...or something. It's really hard to tell what. Maybe the demon is reminiscing about the past. Or not. I can't even figure out if Telly is supposed to be the Devil or just a creepy butler who collects life-sized dolls.


10. Skyscraper Nominated in 2 categories Anna Nicole Smith is a helicopter pilot who discovers that one of the buildings she is making a delivery to has been taken hostage by terrorists. Similar to Die Hard, but with two very big differences.


11. Zombie Lake Nominated in 4 categories During World War II, a group of Nazi soldiers was ambushed and drowned in a lake in France. Time passes, and the Nazis come back as zombies to terrorize the populace


12. Warriors of the Apocalypse Nominated in the Worst Special Effect category A group of apocalyptic warriors follow a strange primitive man to his home territory, a "voodoo mountain" where people live forever. When they arrive, they find a paradise (complete with a bevy of bikini-clad young women). But, as always, something strange is going on, and the old guy ("Doc") just has to get to the bottom of it.


13. Slaughter Nominated in the Acting Appropriately Stupid category It's blaxploitation at its finest. Slaughter's family was clipped by the Mob and now the Feds tell him where the remaining mobsters are hiding in Mexico, using the Badass Black to wipe them out.
    

I am so looking forward to this award show. It is always a hoot. I was at the last MetamegaSmithees so I know. And guess what. They joked about a SupermegametaSmithee Awards show which will pit all the megametaSmithee winners against each other. Well now that is just a little more than a decade away. Who knows, we just might see it!

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Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!


View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Headlines for Wednesday 6/06/2007

Spinal Tap returns July 7 for a cause
Mock band raises awareness of a mock cause

Experts: Katrina Death Toll Still Rising
And will continue to rise as long as Democrats can milk it as an issue

WHO: Chinese soldier dies of bird flu
Superiors ignored mans complaints of feeling peckish that morning

Obama warns of 'quiet riot' among blacks
New campaign strategy is to threaten potential voters with has-been hair bands

Edward's Wife Likens Husband to Helms
Yeah he does remind me of Dean Martin in those goofy spy flicks
BONUS: The above link changed in mind stream. I guess They didn't like the comparison so instead the current headline reads...
Edwards campaigns with actor Glover
The two are remaking the film classic "Dumb and Dumberer

Whales Swim to Sacremento, 50 Miles from Ocean
Swimming thought to have been tougher for them over the land

Bush: Russia Shouldn't Fear U.S. Defense
Nobody else does anymore

Indiana Kangaroo Dies After Capture
Zoologists say the end was expected once the animal was removed from the Hoosier Outback

Man Says He Captured Loch Ness on Film
And for $19.99 the "Monsters Gone Wild" video is yours

Study Finds Cocaine, Pot in Rome's Air
Effects are neutralized by that Black and White Pope-choosing smoke

Helmet saves man when truck runs over his head - CNN.com
Head is doing well, the rest of the body is mush though

That's it for Headlines today. Remember to visit the usual suspects for more "headliney goodness"!
basil at basil's blog
Technorati tag: Humor   Headlines