Thursday Thirteen #73
13 Things About Dane Bramage
13 "What I Should Have Said/What I Said"
You know sometimes your mouth works faster than your brain. And in those instances you utter something that in retrospect could have been said in a more kinder, gentler fashion. Here are thirteen of those times. What I should have said is first followed by what I said.
- Of course not! Why you look ravishing!
No. Your big butt makes you look fat.
- Times are really tough for all of us. And I am sure once he bounces back he will be in touch.
You knew he was a deadbeat before he was your baby's daddy.
- I'm sure he was drawn to your vast intellect and beauty.
I'm sure he was drawn to your vast wealth.
- The screen says the flight is delayed. I'm sure it will be here soon.
The plane ain't landing but your Mom's broom just touched down at gate 47.
- Well he's had some setbacks with his health and other issues.
The lazy bum is deathly allergic to work.
- No I have never had this kind of food before and let me just say the texture and smell makes for a unique dining experience.
Oh man this tastes like crap.
- I would describe her appearance as classical. I bet men surround her staring, transfixed by her look.
The trick is not to stare directly at her face, instead use shiny surfaces.
- Genetics is a powerful thing and he could very well inherit your brains.
Since you're a dumbass chances are he'll be a dumbass too.
- Let's hold off on the drinks until we get to the air conditioned room.
You know how your mom sweats.
- You're Sisters? I see the striking family resemblance now!
Which one of you did Dorothy drop the house on?
- Dude your cologne is a little overpowering.
Dude you reek. What'd you do, bathe in a latrine?
- Your track record isn't very good. And I see that these setbacks haven't diminished your perseverance.
Don't you ever get tired of being wrong?
- It's obvious you have championship attitude if they gave awards for it.
You'd definitely get a gold medal at the Jerk Olympics.
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