Headlines for Thursday 7/14/2005

Woman Walks Every Mile of City Streets
Ugly prostitue has to work harder to earn living

Gene Maps May Help Drug Hunt for Parasites
Helps lead crackheads straight to rocker Simmons door

Hundreds of sheep follow leader off cliff
A fitting end to Dean's Democratic conga line

Activists strip to thongs to oppose bull run
Plan backfires as thong wearing Rosie O'Donnell really excites horny bulls

Lost Sappho love poem published after 2,600 years
"The poetess of Lesbos full of joy
Tis no mystery who this lass likes
How she envys the little Dutch Boy
With a finger in the dikes"

Woman Arrested After Giving Birth Drunk
Mother insists "I was wasted when it was concieved, I wanted to be the same way when it was born!"

Man Allegedly Bites Off Officer's Finger
He wanted to try a new Wendy's Home Recipe

Big Bird Sculpture Ruffles Feathers
Sesame Street icon posed plucked for statue

Corpse Falls Into Traffic in Texas
Mystery of what Dan Rather is doing during retirement solved

Jogging in Park OK but No Sex Please
Mystery of what Bill Clinton is doing during retirement solved

Graham Won't Go to London, Citing Health
He wants to keep his

Ex-Haiti Police Chief Sentenced to Prison
And he seem like a real Port-au-Prince of a fellow

Teen Who Lost Leg to Shark Back at Home
He was warned that his lawyer charged an arm and a leg but he wouldn't listen. Lucky to get 1/2 off deal.

Man Reveals Reason for Shooting Postman
Seems he rang more than twice

And you can find more headliney goodnes at the usual suspects.

Are we winning the War on Terrorism?

The Homepsun Blogger Symposium question of the week asks;

This week saw terrorism raise it's ugly head in London killing more than 50 people, wounding over 700.
Based on this recent attack...do you feel that we're winning, losing, or holding our own in fighting the Global War on Terrorism?

I believe we are winning the war. It was important to take the war to the terrorists and those who support them. As a result we have established democracies in the Middle East which will help stabilized the region.

You may well ask "If we are winning then why did the London bombings happen?" They happened because the cowardly Islamofacists terrorists have only one weapon. There unwavering ability to target innocent men, women and children with senseless suicide attacks. This will not change. They have no armies, no navy, no uniformed militia. They do not engage the military of other nations. They instead hide and fester like a disease in pockets of filth throughout the Middle East. They wait until they see an opening and strike at our hearts; our wives and children as they do nothing more sinister than go about their daily lives. But even these attacks are being thwarted in greater number.

So we are winning the War on Terror by doing exactly what we are doing right now. And we should continue to do so. And if need be we should seek out other pockets of filth and clean them out, one fanatical dictatorial regime at a time.

Brits for a Day

Fiesty Republican Whore suggests we all decorate our blogs with the Union Jack. Today we are all brits.

Word. We're all Britons today. Today, my buddy-in-blog Jeff has asked any and all bloggers via an email to decorate their blogs with the British flag in honor of those killed and injured in today's cowardly terrorist attacks in London. Sounds like a smashing good idea to me.

Pro-Terror Watch Alert

The "Religion of Peace" continued its war on the innocent. The bomb blasts in London have killed 40 and the number of injured varies between 360 and 700. Islamofacists have claimed credit although initial reports cited ruptured gas mains as a cause. Blair has come out and denounced the cowards who have preyed on innocent commuters. The U.S. has raised it's security alert level to Orange for mass transit systems. So do you still believe Islam is a "Religion of Peace?".

I will be keeping an eye on the usual suspects in the left of the blogosphere. Surely even those dim bulbs can see that this was an unprovoked act of terrorism. Surely they can't possibly hate America so much that they can condone this barbarism. I wrote in a forum:

The time immediately after something like this is weirdly quiet. You know the left are all holed up somewhere like vermin waiting for the shock to subside. Even now they are carefully choosing their words so they can appear shocked and hurt.

Then all at once they will be chattering like insects blaming Bush, blaming the right, blaming everybody but the terrorists themselves. It will be disgusting and sadly there will be nothing to do but sit back and wait for the spectacle to begin.

I believe the left will fall all over themselves trying to explain this. Let the circus begin.

The Smithee Awards Report

Speaking of the Smithees (see my post "And the Award for Stupidest Looking Monster Goes to..."), despite the initial delay this year's 14th Annual Smithee Awards Show did go on and it was great! The overall winner and winner of the "Worst Film" award was the post apocalyptic "Roller Blade (1985)". Naked pointy hooded nuns on skates who worshipped a holy smiley face and communed in hot tubs took on evil skaters and their animated baby doll. No. Really. The Smithee synopsis reads:

The Holy Order of the Roller Blade is a group of roller-skating nuns whose holy symbol is a happy-face, in a post-apocalyptic world gone horribly, horribly wrong. Yet if this is so wrong, I don't want to be right.

The nuns are opposed by a group of mutants lead by the evil Doctor Saticoy. The crisis points come when Doctor Saticoy steals the nuns' sacred power crystal, and kidnaps the Sheriff's son.

In addition, a user comment at the IMDB reads:

Films like this really defy any sort of critical analysis because how 'bad' they are is directly related to how much enjoyment you get out of it. That said, this effort, whilst offering at least a few good laughs, is ultimately so lame that it wears very thin. You might find yourself sticking with it to the end with a sense of utter disbelief or you might only get past the first scene, but either way you'll be wondering just how little money it cost to make, and just how the hell they got a distribution deal in the first place. Cult status is assured (it's already had 3 sequels, which is unfathomable) - it's a futuristic sci-fi adventure with roller-skating nuns, child kidnap, power crystals, and naked nuns in jacuzzis. Trash doesn't get any worse or any weirder, and it's a thin line between talentless crap and auteur genius.

Is it the worse film I've ever seen? Yea, verily.

Some Japanese films made the show. Two in particular have to be seen to be believed. Gorath (1962), a rogue star threatens to collide with Earth so the scientists create a huge rocket engine which propels Earth out of harms way. Of course they don’t know how to get Earth back on track and they have caused unparalleled ecological damage. But the rogue star missed them and that’s what’s important. The Smithees say:

A rogue star, code-named Gorath, is cutting a swath of destruction through the solar system on a collision course with Earth. Not to fear, though. Japan has a bold plan to save the world. No, it's not what you're thinking. I have no idea what you're thinking, but I'm sure it's not this. 0:44:39 Science: They're accelerating at 14 gravities, but people are walking around normally. No, they don't have inertial dampeners; they just don't have any understanding of science.

And I am looking for ”Ororchi: The Eight-Headed Dragon (1994)”. It was essentially film version a video game complete with level bosses and power ups. Looks like a lot of fun. Smithee says:

Jenna describes this movie by saying that she thinks they wanted to make an anime, but couldn't afford to. In Imperial Japan, the younger twin son of the local lord is taken for a demon (being a younger twin) and exiled. Eventually, he is allowed back at court but must prove himself by being sent out to battle the lord's enemies. After many martial arts fights, this leads the hero and his companions to fight a real demon. But once the demon is destroyed, it reincarnates as a giant rubber monster, which Jenna and I refer to as "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Godzilla".

The clips were funny to watch especially the "Oblivious" nomination where 100 swordsman appear out of nowhere to help capture the heroine.

Some notable award winners were "Best One-Liner" Leprechaun: Back 2 da Hood (2003), "Cutting Butter with a Chainsaw" Lady Terminator (1988), and "Worst Science" Death Machine (1995).

All in all it was a glorious campy night. This years crowd was bigger than last years AND they had us in a larger ballroom to boot!

Origins Recap

Well the best laid plans etc… I was all psyched to go to Origins and blog from the Game Expo everyday but life had other plans. I was so ill I slept most of the first day, rising only to eat. By Friday the worst was past but I was so tired that I couldn’t bring myself to compose the posts I wanted too. So now I am posting after the fact.

The show was a good one. I am still waiting to hear attendance figures. It seemed a little down this year and I will be interested in knowing if they broke the 15K mark. I noticed there were a lot more kids this year. I wish I could say that things went smoothly and like clockwork but the show was plagued with problems. On a personal note, events I had scheduled to run did not show up in the Pre-registration or the on-site registration books so no one could sign up for them. On Wednesday the computers crashed, I know these things happen but I stood in line with my fever for almost an hour. The computer status had nothing to do with my situation since all the materials I was there to pick up were already printed out and sorted. They simply did not allocate the manpower to handle the line. The Smithee Awards was delayed 40 minutes because the AV people did not supply a remote with the DVD player and couldn’t find one once the show started. If not for a fan and her laptop (Thanks Mary!) we may not have had a show. None of these are unforgivable problems UNLESS GAMA fails to learn from them and repeats them year after year.

Other than that the show was great. The Dealer’s room was packed and there was great new games and expansions released at the show. My traveling companions all had a great time and gave glowing reports of their experiences. It was a good time and we are looking forward to next year. (Some of us are also looking forward to GEN CON:Indy 2005 in August too...)

Headlines for Wednesday 7/6/2005

New Dolphin Species Found in Australia
Experts say it is lighter than other species and tastes like chicken

G-8 Leaders Expected to Pledge Africa Aid
Leaders unable to withstand intense pressure generated by worldwide concerts.

China Treats Addicted Video-Game Players
Reports remakable success of their "Labor Camp Retreat" program

Bush Drops a Few Clues About Candidate
Democrats pick up crayon, notebook and sit in their big chair to figure it out

WHO Reports More Polio Cases in Indonesia
Okay I give up. Who?

Russian Astrologer Sues NASA Over Comet
Nostra-scam-us says "Can't get a clear picture since NASA's been up there mucking about"

Dinosaur Track Found in Alaskan Park
Authorities say millions bet on illeagal T-Rex racing

Telescopes Analyze Probe-Comet Collision
Probe cited for failure to yeild and sentenced to driver school and comet was driving while uninsured

Bush: Abortion Won't Decide Court Nominee
Bush will retain the right to abort current sitting members of the court

Stewart Says Prison Nickname 'M. Diddy'
Sean Combs welcomes her to the Diddy clan

And as always there is more headliney goodness to be had from The Capitalist. basil, moehawk and Moes'

USAF Take Out "Foresake The Troops"

USAF Take Out "Foresake The Troops". (Hat Tip BMEWS) Scumbag Micheal Crook's online disgrace forsakethetroops.info has been purchased by the USAF. Instead you find a notice and a link to the Sean Hannity interview where Crook exhibits his total lack of cognitive processess.

Forsakethetroops.net was also purchased and you are redirected to the site ATrue American.com owned by U.S. veterans who wanted to stop Crook's despicable attacks on our servicemen.

UPDATE: I should have more accurately said "The anti military site FORSAKETHETROOPS.info has been purchased by Q of 3C0X1.net & 3GuysHosting.com" While NOT the USAF it is "An online home for Air Force enlisted personnel

Origins Update Part Two

In my fevered delirium I looked out of the hotel window and saw these brightly colored creatures of flaming energy erupting before me. Then I realized that it was just the annual "Red White and Boom" celebration in our state capitol. They had mentioned it on the news. They also mentioned the Game Expo too. Origins brings in 15000 people and injects between 5 and 6 million dollars into the local businesses. And the show is geared towards families, which helps sell it. Columbus enjoys it's relationship with Origins and origins plans to be here at least through 2010.

Origins 2005 Update

Okay so you haven't heard from me in awhile. I arrived here in Columbus on Wednesday on schedule but I had an unexpected visitor along for the ride. Some sort of infection has had me feverish since Tuesday night. So I have spent the first two nights of my vacation sweating and shivering. My family wanted me to come back home immediately but I believe I will actually get more rest in a richly appointed hotel than in my poorly ventilated bedroom. That is also assuming I just don't drop over dead from whatever has my temp up. Funny thing is I have no other symptoms. Oh well I may be live blogging from Ohio State Medical Center at some point you never know.

But enough about me. I did get over to the dealers room and snap this pic. The lion "king" here is typical of some of the colorful characters you see at Origins. More pics tomoorow which is historically the largest attendance day. Right now I am all about fluids aspirin and rest. And my new Catan the Computer Game CD and watching UFO the series on DVD. I love vacation.