Denied!

Well I won’t be tooling around in a new Grand Cherokee. Not today anyway. I guess I will wait until my Sebring’s lease is up in August and see how things look then.  I am so bummed. That Steel Blue beauty was sooooo sweet!

Thursday Thirteen #35

13 Things About Dane Bramage

13 Old Wives Tales
Ever put Lemon Joy in a dish to kill mosquitoes? How about waiting an hour after you eat to go swimming. Did you know that sending money to single male bloggers is good luck? Okay the last one was made up but the others are Old Wives Tales. Who are these old wives and don't they have anything better to do than rule our lives with their endless rules!? Probably not. Anyway here are 13 Old Wives Tales. These are actual wives tales that people still subscribe to today. And if you are superstitious and still believe these are true then to avoid being cursed you must send $20 to someone named Dane.

1. If a single woman sleeps with a piece of wedding cake under her pillow, she will dream of her future husband.
   What about the single guy with Ho-Ho crumbs and cheetos in his bed? He dreams of his future exterminator coming to kill the vermin in his room.


2. When you shiver for no reason, it means someone is walking over the ground where you will be buried.
   Imagine that they will bury you at the current site of a football stadium. You would shiver 2 hours every Sunday during the regular season.


3. Think of five or six names of boys or girls you might marry, As you twist the stem of an apple, recite the names until the stem comes off. You will marry the person whose name you were saying when the stem fell off.
   Halle, Tyra, Beyonce...


4. Spit on a new bat before using it for the first time to make it lucky.
   Yeah but it also makes them cranky and they flap around your head trying to bite you.


5. Give your loved ones a pinch and a punch for the first of the month.
   Must be an Old Battered Wives Tale.


6. A bride's veil protects her from evil spirits who are jealous of happy people.
   In some weddings it protects the guests from having to stare at the bride.


7. To find out how long you will live, blow the seeds off the head of a dandelion. You will live as many years as there are seeds left on the head.
   That confuses me. Because the next one says;


8. To tell the time, blow three times at the seed head of a dandelion. The number of seeds left is the hour.
   I would hate to get these two confused and blow the seed off a dandelion to find out I just limited my life span to six hours.


9. If you use the same pencil to take a test that you used for studying for the test, the pencil will remember the answers. DON'T FALL FOR IT! I studied with a pencil and I figured since it knew all the answers I'd just leave it on the paper to take the test for me. Didn't work.


10. The first man to walk through your front door in the new year should be carrying coal for the fire. That way, your hearth will never be cold that upcoming year.
    Oh like a lump of coal will keep you warm when they shut off your gas.


11. If your right eye twitches there will soon be a birth in the family.
    A better indicator would be if your water breaks there is about to be a new birth in the family.


12. Wedding Day Bad Omens: a pig, hare, or lizard running across the road, seeing an open grave, meeting a nun or a monk foretell barrenness
    I would pay to see a lizard run across the road to an open grave with a nun or monk by it.


13. If cows are laying down you can expect rain.
    If cows are lying down I suspect cow tippers, unless vital organs are missing then I suspect aliens.

Wow that didn't even scratch the surface of the OWTs I found. I was amazed at how many dealt with who you would marry, and drunken men. If you have a favorite leave it in the comments.

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Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!


View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Busy Busy Busy

Well if you remember my new years resolutions, some dealt with home repair. Thursday I will be getting estimates for the roof and my ant problem. I will also be shopping for a new car. This is not my first new car but it will be the first new car that I actually wanted as opposed to merely just could afford. I am leaning towards a steel blue Jeep Grand Cherokee. Al Gore will just have to kiss my globally warmed butt.

Anyway I am busy all day Thursday so I will be checking in on T13 sporadically. This week is done, it is 13 Old Wives Tales. I want to thank all those who visited me last week when I was one of the featured blogs!

Randy Thomas: GA"Y"TTACA

Randy Thomas has a post on his blog at RandyThomas.org. GA"Y"TTACA talks about british gay men coming to America to buy designer babies. Can you say wrong on so many levels? These designer babies run $65,000 and gay male couples get them tfrom Los Angles because of a shortage of egg donors and surrogate mothers in the U.K. Donors and surrogates are highly screened and matched.

to be an egg donor, it is a requirement that you are between 18 to 27 years old and that you are currently at a university. [snip] The surrogates, on the other hand, are very interested in carrying the baby but, a lot of the time, they are blue-collar and not of the best of the selection [for eggs]. If we separate them we get the best egg donors and the best women to carry the babies, which is the perfect combination

Just Ewww. Not the kind of separating I normally associate with eggs.

Thomas Jefferson's Koran

I believe that you should go to church every time the doors are open. Church is not just for singing praises and eating fellowship meals. Church is for learning. Besides giving a great sermon on faith and another on Heaven, my pastor had an article in the Heritage Herald, our church bulletin. It was about Keith Ellison. I have reprinted it below with some additional data from Wikipedia.

Keith Ellison, now officially the first Muslim United States Congressman, placed his hand on the Koran, the Muslim book of jihad, and pledged his allegiance to the United States during his ceremonial swearing-in.

The Koran used once belonged to Thomas Jefferson third president of the United States and one of America's founding fathers. Ellison borrowed it from the rare books section of the Library of Congress and is one of the 6500 Jefferson books archived in the library. Ellison, born in Detroit and converted to Islam while in college, said he chose to use Jefferson’s Koran because it showed that a visionary like Jefferson believed wisdom could be gleaned from many sources.

Because Ellison stated an intent to use the Koran instead of a Bible at his photo op reenactment of the swearing-in ceremony (the official ceremony is done en mass without any books) conservative columnists Dennis Prager wrote a column criticizing him. This drew responses from organizations such as the Council on American Islamic Relations (CAIR), The American Family Association and The Anti-Defamation League.

Fifth term Representative Virgil Goode (R-VA) responding to "scores and hundreds of e-mails" from his constituents after the Prager articles has also stated his view that Ellison's decision to use the Koran is a threat to the values and beliefs traditional to United States of America he also wrote

"If American citizens don't wake up and adopt the Virgil Goode position on immigration there will likely be many more Muslims elected to office demanding the use of the Koran"

Ellison was right about Jefferson leaving wisdom could be gleaned from the Muslim Koran. at the time Jefferson owned the book he needed to know everything possible bout Muslims because he was about to advocate war against Islamic Barbary states Morocco, Algeria, Tunisia and Tripoli. Ellison's use of the Jefferson’s Koran as a prop illuminates a subject once well-known in the history of the United States but mostly forgotten today-- the Muslim pirate slavers enslaved millions of Africans and tens of thousands of Christian Europeans and Americans in the Islamic Barbary states. Not long after Jefferson’s inauguration as president in 1801 he dispatched a group of frigates to defend America's interest in the Mediterranean and informed Congress declaring that America was going to spend millions for defense but not one cent for tribute. Jefferson pressed the issued by deploying American marines and many of America's best warships to the Muslim Barbary Coast.
In 1805 American marines marched across the desert from Egypt to Tripolitania forcing the surrender of Tripoli and freeing all American slaves.

During the Jefferson administration, the Muslim Barbary states, crumbling as a result of intense American naval bombardment and onshore raids by Marines, finally officially agreed to abandon slavery and piracy. Jefferson's victory over Muslims lives on today in the Marine hymn, "From the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli".

Thursday Thirteen #34

13 things about Dane Bramage

13 Things You Wish You Could Say at Work
In the work-a-day world you encounter very special people. Co-workers. Most businesses have protocols that you must use when interacting with co-workers. We have a rule that says you can't accuse a fellow worker of messing things up even if it is their fault. I received a list via email of things you wish you could say to a co-worker that polite society otherwise prohibits.

1. Ahhh, I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.


2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.


3. How about never? Is never good for you?


4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.


5. I'll try being nicer, if you'll try being smarter.


6. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.


7. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.


8. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.


9. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.


10. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?


11. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.


12. If I throw a stick, will you leave?


13. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

I have a few more but I will save them for another Thursday. If you have one leave it in the comments.

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Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!


View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

12 Angry Men and Two Alternates (Part Three)

The defense has only one witness and it was Lola. She obviously was told what to wear and didn't own it judging by the fact her jacket was several sizes too large. She was definitely more calm on the stand than her mother. She mentioned church and her pastor and her boyfriends' belief in strong family as reasons she wanted to mend fences with her mother. She repeated the events of the night in question but explained that Lulu became agitated at the questioning and attacked her. She defended herself and fled with her daughter to her boyfriend's house where she was picked up and charged with OVI. The prosecutor went straight for the jugular on cross examination, revealing Lola's work as a stripper. He also got her to admit she did professional fetish work. I guess she got paid to stick her feet in some guys face while wearing leather and latex is what came to my mind. She didn't elaborate too much.She had a professional name, Trinity something or other. She had a website too that the prosecutor had a screen scrape of but the judge wouldn't allow it to be shown to us. She said she hadn't done that type of work in quite awhile.

So the defense rested, both sides gave closing arguments and then the judge explained what we had to do. It was all very clear and typed out for each of us to read once we started deliberating. Lola was presumed innocent. The state had to prove beyond reasonable doubt that Lola committed Domestic Violence against Lulu. We were all in agreement that the State did so. Lola claimed self defense so she and her attorney had to prove self defense with a preponderance of evidence. That means when weighed against the states evidence, there were more things showing self defense than not. Our initial vote was 8 not guilties, 1 guilty and 3 undecideds. Each juror in turn then explained there feelings and thoughts on the case. We all agreed that neither witness was credible. So how do we decide what happened?

Remembering how agitated Lulu got during questioning and how aggressive she was on the stand, we felt she could have very easily exploded at the accusation that she was some kind of madam. Then we remembered that both of the police from Lola's boyfriend's community mentioned that she said "Even drunk, [Lola] can defend herself". Why would she say that unless she had to defend herself? She didn't know that Lulu had called the police on her. She had know way of knowing she was going to be up on Domestic Violence charges so she wasn't trying to position a defense at that time. So we the jury decided that Lulu attacked Lola and she defended herself. We found her not guilty. She broke down and cried.

After the verdict we returned to the jury room and the judge came in and answered questions. He had a couple too. When he was finished both the prosecutors and the defense attorney came in for questions and answers. It was an incredible experience and I recommend every body sit on a jury when your time comes to serve.

All Searches Lead To Dane Bramage #1

#1

I, like many other bloggers, often wonder what it is that brings a person to my little corner of the blogosphere. The obvious answer is my unbelievable charm and wit. No really it is. But sometimes people stumble across Dane Bramage while looking for something with a search engine. Thankfully Site Meter gives me the ability to see what searches led a reader to my blog.
The search phrase is in bold Light Steel Blue#1 and the the text on my blog they found is in Light Steel Blue#3

Crystal Meth Shadows and Demons
Jesus and His Disciples spent a great deal of time casting out demons and devils. ... Chimp stops smoking starts using crystal meth ...
They hit an archive page that had a post about demon possession and one of my Headlines about a chimp and Crystal Meth

Freudenschade dictionary
Freudenschade Baby! Did you know that Karl Rove was indicted May 12th? Me neither.
Okay the real word is schadenfreude. But the loons at DU made botched it and I blogged about it.

who was the only african american man to perish on th titanic
and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand
The perish part was form my list of favorite Bible verses and I am the African American part. Now where is the Titanic?

chuck norris sexist
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. ... Okay call me a sexist prude but I really have a problem with the concept of emergency birth ...
Ahh, Chuck Norris jokes and an embattled Walmart. Hope the searcher got what they were looking for.

"foot model" search contest
My best friend and foot model is in the hospital with pancreatitis
My buddy Dave is NOT a foot model but I have used images of his big feet a few times on my blog. I don't think the searcher was looking for his size 13's. I hope I don't have to start paying Dave.

aclu +florida obese women elevator
That lady's SO FAT when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down. ... Stop the ACLU - Add Us To The List On Supporting This Cause ...
Fat jokes and Stop the ACLU. Does it get better than this?

famous buttcrack
famous women showing butt crack How in the world did this lead here? Well I blogged about a (butt)crack epidemic in Wyoming as police try to cut down on ...
Now this was a search that led to a post about a search for buttcrack.

pick up penny in God we trust
I have heard many people say that they would not pick up pennies since they don't have much, ... I make it a point to read the caption: “In God We Trust.” ...
My friend Scott allowed me to reprint his article on pennies.

bangladesh/baptist
Bangladesh Baptist Pastor Killed by Extremists after Attempt to Share Faith ...
I make it a point to post whenever possible, stories where Christians are victimized by followers of the "Religion of Peace". The MSM doesn't seem to like reporting these things.

trifocals
Her credibility as a witness was immediately suspect when it was revealed that ... could take off her bifocals and put on her trifocals which were heavily tinted. ...
I wonder if the reader was looking for information on trifocals. Well they got my Jury duty story which had very little to do with trifocals.

A while back I tried to increase the flow of traffic to my blog by posting a piece with the top ten search engine items of that day. I figured if they were looking for WWE Smackdown they might as well visit me as much as any body else. Well it didn't work. Only one hit was a result of that post so I guess I won't try to manipulate traffic any more.

Life and Death

I always vist those who stop by mt Thursday Thirteen. So I hopped over to Life as I see it because Jessica stopped and left a comment. You should see her blog, full of photos of family and newborn baby Judah. Well Jessica had a post about Melissa, who was engaged until her fiancee was killed in Iraq. That led me to Melissa's blog Cool, Calm & Collected... Please visit the blogs, especially Melissa and leave a kind comment and say a prayer for her. She is remarkably strong despite what has happened.

Thursday Thirteen #33

13 things about Dane Bramage
13 Quotes About Men
This is late I know but things have been crazy. I am still getting over a nasty cold and we are short handed at work. But here it is my Thursday Thirteen. Dave Barry says this about men:

The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the next six thousand years, to even things up. The trouble is that men, over the years, have developed an inflated notion of the importance of everything they do, so that before long they would turn housework into just as much of a charade as business is now. They would hire secretaries and buy computers and fly off to housework conferences in Bermuda, but they'd never clean anything.

And that is the theme of this weeks Thursday Thirteen. Quotes about men.

1. Marlene Dietrich The average man is more interested in a woman who is interested in him than he is in a woman with beautiful legs.


2. Ellen Glasgow Women are one of the Almighty's enigmas to prove to men that He knows more than they do.


3. Jean Kerr Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.


4. Erma Bombeck What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?


5. Roseanne Barr Men can read maps better than women. 'Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equaling a hundred miles.


6. Natalie Wood The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.


7. Mignon McLaughlin Women are the right age for just a few years; men, for most of their lives.


8. Mae West Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.


9. Farrah Fawcett God made man stronger but not necessarily more intelligent. He gave women intuition and femininity. And, used properly, that combination easily jumbles the brain of any man I've ever met.


10. Jim Backus Many a man owes his success to his first wife, and his second wife to his success.


11. Rita Rudner The old theory was "Marry an older man, because they're more mature." But the new theory is: "Men don't mature. Marry a younger one."


12. Zsa Zsa Gabor I want a man who's kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?


13. Chocolate Waters If they can put one man on the moon why can't they put them all there?

Well as you can see, not everyone has a high opinion of the stronger gender. Just one more quote from Anita Wise:

A lot of guys think the larger a woman's breasts are, the less intelligent she is. I don't think it works like that. I think it's the opposite. I think the larger a woman's breasts are, the less intelligent the men become.

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Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!


View More Thursday Thirteen Participants