Thursday Thirteen #31
13 things about Dane Bramage
13 Qualities of Friendship
First Let me say that I am glad that Thursday Thirteen is still around. I really like it. It is like an old friend. Speaking of friends, I came across this survey at RateItAll. It lists 22 qualities of friendship. I don't particularly agree with their order in the survey so here are thirteen in the order I think they should be.
- Honest First and foremost a friend needs to be honest. The RateItAll folks believe that a friend should be loyal first. I'd rather have a disloyal friend than a dishonest one. Honesty plays into several of the other qualities too.
- Loyal A famous preacher once said "If you ain't loyal, you ain't nothin." Disloyalty destroys friendships, marriages, churches, corporations, even nations.
- Dependable If all your friends come to you when they want to see something get done, chances are you're the dependable one. It seems that people aren't teaching their children the importance of dependability anymore. They concentrate on the "me" mentality. The more self centered a person is the less dependable they are. The needs of others are not important to them.
- Understanding An understanding friend can empathize with you. They can see things from your perspective which helps.
- Good communicator The RateItAll folks had this one way down in the list. It was after "good listener". I think a good communicator will be a good listener as well. Communication is two way. A good communicator can clear up misunderstandings by articulating honestly their feelings. Honesty is important in communication too.
- Generous You can't beat a person who gives their time, money, love.
- Similar religious beliefs The RateItAll survey has this way down on the list. I think it is more important, especially for Christians. You should be kind to everybody but friends should have similar spiritual beliefs. Can two walk together except they be agreed?
- Independent Independence keeps one from being a burden to their friends. Well all need help now and then but it is easier to help the friend who is independent because they will benefit most from it. "Teach a man to fish" etc...(Actually I like the quote "Build a man a fire and he is warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life." Deep huh.
- Patient It is also a virtue. Patient people are just easier to deal with.
- Nice Face it. Mean people stink. Who goes out and looks for mean people to be friends with anyway?
- Fun-loving It helps to be able to have fun with your friends.
- Sense of humor This is a very important quality for my friends to have. Primarily because I'm a jerk and I poke fun at my friends all the time.
- Optimistic Doom and gloom people bring me down. I don't like blind optimism either. If you can be honestly optimistic about the world then people like having you around.
The survey had other qualities like spontaneous, intelligent, easy-going, and finished the list off with attractive and rich. At least someone was honest about what they look for in a friend.
I can not think of a friend I have who has all of these qualities. Likewise I think I am missing a couple of these myself. Fortunately they are NOT prerequisites for friendship.
3. Heather Rae Scott
8. Cindy Swanson
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