This arrived in my inbox. In the interest of health and well being I share it with you. Then I’m going out to have a 10 ounce medium well serving of vegetables with herb rub and bleu cheese. Yum!
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: “You ARE what you THINK about”. Think ‘FIT and HEALTHY’, and you will BE ‘FIT and HEALTHY’. No need for the ‘regular exercise’ gimmick!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me. And what about the hippo and walrus? Swimming? NOT!
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: You ARE in-shape! 'Round' is a shape! ‘Triangle’ is a shape! (Did you pay attention in grade school? An hourglass and a ‘V’ are NOT shapes!)
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride