Thursday Thirteen #53
13 Things About Dane Bramage
13 Tidbits of Wisdom
The internet is great. Where else can you find priceless gems of wisdom? This week, inspired by Scott who sent me an email, I went out to the vast world wide web and made a half vast effort to cull 13 pearls of wisdom. So here they are for you.
- Birthdays are good for you; the more you have the longer you live.
- Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.
- Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
- If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be too afraid to cough.
- Everyone should have a spouse, because there are a number of things that go wrong that one can't blame on the government.
- The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
- There will always be death and taxes; however, death doesn't get worse every year.
- God grant me the Senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, The good fortune to run into the ones I do, And the eyesight to tell the difference..
- A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
- When choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.
- You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
- Some people are like slinkies. Not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
- Time may be a great healer, but it's also a rotten beautician.
I can just smell the wisdom oozing from you. If you have a pearl to share leave it in the comments.
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