For this Precision Guided Humor assignment I am looking at 2006 through fantasy headlines. I was amazed at how much easier it was to make fun of real headlines compared to making them up.
I think I will start off in the entertainament world. Jacko is still newsworthy after being sentenced to 10 years for child molestation. We have this headline;
Michael Jackson Exchanges Vows with Cell Mate
Paris Hilton's on again on again love affair with her name surfaces in the headlines with;
Paris Hilton Engaged to Musician Paris Pliakas
And the Republican majority passed good law;
Last Actor Vowing to Leave the US After Bush '04 Win Exiled Today
so long Mr. Baldwin
On the political front Ted tries to get help but old habits die hard;
Kennedy Expelled from Betty Ford; Ted, Gurney and Nurse Wind Up in Pool
Washington state paves the way for a bigger Democratic turnout;
Washington State Okays Extraterrestrial Vote
John Kerry's attempt to portray himself as a war heroes grows more desparate;
John Kerry recalls Christmas Eve in Cambodia; "I Rescued Jedi Younglings from the Sith"
and congress has some new rules;
Congressional Witch Ban Forces Boxer, Clinton, and Pelosi Off Capitol Hill
And That's next year in review.