Virgin Mary Blows Through Northern Italy

The Virgin Mary's whirlwind "Visit the Suckers Faithful Tour 2005 is in full swing. The Blessed Madonna started her tour as a salt stain on an overpass in Chicago earlier this year. Thursday her tour continued with a performance of Pygmalion; not the Shaw play but the actual Greek myth. Statue Come to Life? says that a marble and plaster statue of Mary came to life briefly.

Thousands of pilgrims have flocked to a church in southern Italy since word spread over the weekend that a statue of the Virgin Mary has repeatedly come to life before stunned faithful, Italian media reported.

At first, witnesses said the movement was limited to the statue's leg and vest. As news spread, more people said they saw the statue's ears and face turn to flesh. Some mentioned a bright light.

An unnamed source close to the Blessed Virgin said they are keeping mum about her next venue.

"We are keeping an eye on the box office for this gig and if the numbers stay solid I can guarantee the next appearance will knock everyone's socks off. I mean we've done salt stains we've done visions in the sky and we just added the living statue to our repertoire. The next appearance will be spectacular"

Meanwhile thousands of faithful gather around an old church in Italy and try to catch The Madonna moving with their camera-phones. Bishop Giovanni Rinaldi says he will evaluate the testimony before considering bringing the case before the Vatican. A process which must mimic in many ways interviewing trailer park residents about alien abductions.