Top Ten Reasons Why Liberals Hate Holidays

Dani sent me this link to her blog. I love the Top Ten Reasons Why Liberals Hate Holidays. But put your waders on if you read past the first comment. Liberals didn't find it too amusing.

Top Ten Old West Phrases That Will Never Sound The Same After "Brokeback Mountain"

This was found in the inbox. Here is a list of Top Ten Old West Phrases That Will Never Sound the Same After “ Brokeback Mountain".

10. "I'm gonna pump you fulla lead!"

9. "Give me a stiff one, barkeep!"

8. "Don't fret---I've been in tight spots before."

7. "Howdy, pardner."

6. You stay here while I sneak around from behind."

5. "I need a man who knows how to handle a gun."

4. "Hold it right there! Now, move your hand, reeeal slow-like."

3. "Let's mount up!"

2. "Nice spread ya got there!"

And the number 1 phrase that will never sound the same again:

1. "Ride 'em cowboy!"

And let’s not mention “grab on to my saddle horn”,  okay?

Places to Shop, Places to Eat

Human Events Online has "Top Ten Lists" and Friday they listed the top 10 places to shop and eat on Uno de Mayo.

The following list ranks the Top 10 businesses that give the most to Republicans, according to BuyBlue.org, a website that encourages liberals to shop at business that donate to Democrats.

COMPANY	AMOUNT GIVEN	% GIVEN TO REPUBLICANS
10. Krispy Kreme	$25,000	100%
9. Fruit of the Loom	$28,750	100%
8. Ruby Tuesday	$29,000	100%
7. Best Buy	$46,434	100%
6. Domino's Pizz	$40,677	100%
5. Russell Stover Candies	$64,500	100%
4. Scotts Miracle-Gro	$148,010	100%
3. Wendy's	$299,000	94%
2. Michaels Stores	$416,503	100%
1. Outback Steakhouse	$490,650	98%

Thing is I patronize all these companies. I will make a greater effort to choose them now that I know they have conservative political ties. Mmm Kookaburra Wings.

Ten Reasons to Stop the ACLU

Jay over at STOP the ACLU posts 10 reasons to stop the ACLU. Check them out.

How Can You Tell If Someone Is A Terrorist?

They say clothing makes the man and it is especially true for terrorists. Todays suicide bomber likes to dress for success and that is what gives him away. The top ten signs you may be dealing with a terroist are:

• 10. He goes to a White Sale for head wear.


• 9. He wears "Martyrdom is a Blast" tee shirts.


• 8. He holds his pants up with Det Cord.


• 7. He has a "My Child was a Martyr: They Blow up so Fast Don't They" tee shirt.


• 6. His vests comes in small, medium, loud, and extra damage.


• 5. Where he shops for clothes determines whether he uses cash or plastique.


• 4. His camel hair sweater makes him homesick.


• 3. He buys his own burial suit in advance and it's a Glad sandwich bag.


• 2. His flare jeans use actual flares.

And the number 1 sign you may be dealing with a terrorist is:

• 1. His jacket is measured by blast radius instead of shoulder width.

This has been a Precision Guided Humor assignment!