Because Everybody Is Entitled To My Opinion

"O LORD, revive thy work in the midst of the years, . . . in wrath remember mercy" (Habakkuk 3:2).
"Wilt thou not revive us again: that thy people may rejoice in thee?" (Psalm 85:6)

Friday, May 13, 2005

Headlines for Friday 5/13/2005

Fears of trade in children as 300 boys disappear
Autorities rush to Neverland Ranch with search warrents

Paleontologist Helped Film With Delay
Scientist claims "Me and Tom shot House of Representatives Gone Wild II"

'Witch' was to be thrown into river
Luckily Babs Streisand gnawed her way out of sack and to freedom

Is Friday the 13th a Reason to Stay in Bed?
The first few films were okay but the last one was a real snooze fest

Mystery Illness Killing Racing Greyhounds
NASCAR continues to refuse buses entry until cause is found

Pentagon Plans to Close 33 Major Bases
Plan calls to replace bases with 33 Dollar Tree stores

Police arrest two suspected human skinners
After exhaustive tests police still find no evidence that these two are human

Actor Tucker Pleads Guilty to Speeding
Actor was trying to generate interest in a "Rush Hour 3" project

Lawmakers fired for smashing up hotel
Democratic core values commitee meeting gets out of hand

German senator douses homeless man with wine, quits
He realized he didn't have all the ingredients for Bum Flambe

Jackson aides 'stole nearly $1m
Staff rifled pockets for lunch money while Jacko entertained boys

Police court street dogs for their bark
Inspires new reality TV show "Cops' Bitches"

As always there's more Headliny goodness to be had at basil's blog, oystersnout, and Moe's Woes.

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