Because Everybody Is Entitled To My Opinion

"O LORD, revive thy work in the midst of the years, . . . in wrath remember mercy" (Habakkuk 3:2).
"Wilt thou not revive us again: that thy people may rejoice in thee?" (Psalm 85:6)

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Headlines for Thursday 7/14/2005

Woman Walks Every Mile of City Streets
Ugly prostitue has to work harder to earn living

Gene Maps May Help Drug Hunt for Parasites
Helps lead crackheads straight to rocker Simmons door

Hundreds of sheep follow leader off cliff
A fitting end to Dean's Democratic conga line

Activists strip to thongs to oppose bull run
Plan backfires as thong wearing Rosie O'Donnell really excites horny bulls

Lost Sappho love poem published after 2,600 years
"The poetess of Lesbos full of joy
Tis no mystery who this lass likes
How she envys the little Dutch Boy
With a finger in the dikes"

Woman Arrested After Giving Birth Drunk
Mother insists "I was wasted when it was concieved, I wanted to be the same way when it was born!"

Man Allegedly Bites Off Officer's Finger
He wanted to try a new Wendy's Home Recipe

Big Bird Sculpture Ruffles Feathers
Sesame Street icon posed plucked for statue

Corpse Falls Into Traffic in Texas
Mystery of what Dan Rather is doing during retirement solved

Jogging in Park OK but No Sex Please
Mystery of what Bill Clinton is doing during retirement solved

Graham Won't Go to London, Citing Health
He wants to keep his

Ex-Haiti Police Chief Sentenced to Prison
And he seem like a real Port-au-Prince of a fellow

Teen Who Lost Leg to Shark Back at Home
He was warned that his lawyer charged an arm and a leg but he wouldn't listen. Lucky to get 1/2 off deal.

Man Reveals Reason for Shooting Postman
Seems he rang more than twice

And you can find more headliney goodnes at the usual suspects.

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