Headlines for Wednesday 08-16-06

Elvis Fans Mark Anniversary of Death
Flags were at half mast at 7-11s everywhere

Couric says viewers want hourlong news
Viewers will be disappointed when she delivers the same old crap she always has

Man drinks potion for good luck: doesn't get any
The bars are full of guys who drink and don't get any

Discovery Hints at a quadrillion space rocks beyond Neptune
Number is a rough estimate. They've only actually counted 370

Iraqi War Vets Face Mental Challenges
"Must'nt...Throttle...moonbats...

Access to new HIV prevention methods lacking
And yet the primary and best prevention method, abstinence, goes unused.

Jumping sturgeon knocks man unconscious
He just eel'd over; kelpless. (Thanks Kip!)

Raising Superkids? Parents Show Stress
Lois Lane asks Ma and Pa Kent for advice

Online dating is planned for orangutans
Service will fail when couples meet and find they lied about themselves in their profiles

$300,000 award against Starbucks found excessive
God forbid they have to start charging $5.00 for a cup of coffee

Woman Arrested in Ga. McDonald's Case
She was McRaigned in McCourt before the McJudge

Cyclists beware: inflamed bladders ahead
I want to see that on a road sign.

Congressman delivers his own son
Democrats quickly denounce move as plot to idle hospital workers

That's it for Headlines today. Remember to visit the usual suspects for more "headliney goodness"!
basil at basil's blog
Lyn at Bloggin Outloud

Technorati tag: Humor   Headlines

Home Again and Mostly Rested

Well I am home finally and had a whole day to recover from my vacation. I need that extra day because I tend to throw my schedule off by staying up until 3am most nights.  Aside from the really expensive hotel, and their attitude that they should charge you for everything, it was a good trip. I am in the process of gathering pictures and I should post them in the next day or so. Meanwhile everything should slowly get back into the groove.

Thursday Thirteen #6

Random Yak had a list of true events that could have been used as an excuse. I told him I would steal his idea and use a variation of it. I am nothing if not true to my word. In honor of the fact that I am currently at Gen Con, I thought I would give you some insight on the personality of a gamer. So here are 13 ready made excuses that a typical gamer might use

1. I failed my saving throw
2. My balrog ate it
3. A rigger jacked my car
4. I didn't have the right spell components
5. I was sitting when some stinkin' Nosferatu walked up, grabbed it and obfuscated away
6. My wookie ate it
7. A decker jacked my laptop
8. My LARP group meets that night
9. It was destroyed in a tragic light saber mishap
10. Somebody hijacked the Astral Plane
11. I mistakenly put it in a bag of devouring instead of a bag of holding
12. I made a mistake on my teleport without error spell
13. I traded it for a rare and two uncommons

If they made no sense to you, don't worry. Gamers have a language and culture all their own.

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Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

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Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

MIA

Dane Bramage here, in for the vacationing Dane Bramage. Okay here was the plan:

• Drive to Indianapolis
• Get settled into the hotel and take advantage of the Hi Speed internet access
• Post my Thursday Thirteen
• Blog like I did last year

The reality:

• The hotel's internet access is $7.00 a day
• I can't access any of the free WiFi that my laptop detects
• $7.00 a day is a little more than my budget can stand especially since I blew $30.00 in the business center printing out materials I need for events today and tomorrow.
• Yes this post cost me $7.00

If I get cheaper access expect my T13 and other posts. (The costumes are especially good this year!) If not expect a deluge of posts on Sunday when I get home. I am on vacation you know.

More Movies That You'll Never See

This overwhelmingly popular feature is back. And by overwhelmingly popular I mean 3 comments. With such encouragement how could I not torture bless you with even more?

Again what I have done is researched (as much as is humanly possible from a chair in front of a computer) into what blockbuster sequels were planned and possibly made but will never be seen. Here are some I found:

Ben Affleck returns as Matt Murdock. He becomes the lawyer for the ruthless Miranda Priestly:
Daredevil Wears Prada

After losing an important race, Lightning McQueen starts hanging out in sleazy garages wanting quick meaningless tune ups:
Cars 2: Looking for Mr. Goodwrench

Denzel Washington reprises his epic role, this time he tries to enlist mutants into his civil rights cause:
Malcolm X3: Last Stand

The Rock is back. He returns from being cursed to wipe out all drug Lords and give their profits to NYC's poor and needy:
The Scorpion King of New York

Bruce Wayne flies to St. Lucia and Martinique and falls victim to the rhythm of a vigorous popular dance:
Batman Beguines

Damien opens a school for cursed youngsters and uses their demonic powers to fight for Damnedkind:
The O-Men

Robin Williams exacts revenge from all who ruined his family road trip vacation:
RV for Vendetta

As always, if you have a "movie that you'll never see" leave it in the comments. Be sure to check your locals listings! For all the good it will do you ! MMWWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Extreme Treadmill Workout

I saw this at Pettifog Playground



Thanks chrys. And thanks for pointing to Aimee's visually stunning Foxfire Diaries.

At Last! A Photo of Dane Bramage!

Because no one demanded it! A photo of Dane Bramage.

Well not a recent one.

Now you can play a little game to figure out which one is me. Unless of course you know which one it is, like my many friend who reads this blog. Here we go.

• This photo is of me and my brothers.
• This photo is circa 1980.
• I am the oldest of my folks kids, two boys and two girls, but not the oldest in this picture.

Ryan vs Dorkman - Google Video

Cash at Science and Supermodels has this post about Star Wars. And he links to a fan video of a light saber duel Ryan vs Dorkman A must see. Professional quality. Move over Lucas.

Thursday Thirteen #5

I was thinking about what I would do for this weeks list. Everybody has a list of movies so I thought why not just go with the flow. How I came up with this list though is I just wrote down the first 13 films that popped into the vacuum that is my mind. Than I went back to see why I thought of them. Here they are in no particular order, for no particular reason. I've hyperlinked them to IMDb.COM (Internet Movie Database) which will open in a new window if you want more information on a particular film.

1. Star Wars: In 1977 I so wanted to be a Jedi. (Today I am more Sith oriented.) I saw that film over 22 times and in some cases in back to back showings where my cousin and I would just stay all day at the theater. No obsession there.


2. Superman: The first Christopher Reeves film. My brother and I were in NYC for one night in 1980 and had an opportunity to see many films but we chose Superman which we had already seen.


3. Ordinary People: This film won a boatload of Oscars but I think Donald Southerland was overlooked and is underrated as an actor (some think this was his best role). Mary Tyler Moore distanced herself beautifully from her “Mary Richards” TV persona in this movie. Timothy Hutton lauched his career with this film. An excellent story about loss and family.


4. Eye of the Needle: Another Donald Southerland movie. He is a Nazi spy who knows the truth about D-Day and is trying to get back to Germany. He stays with a British couple and seduces the wife of the crippled husband. He is so EEEEVILLLL in this film.


5. The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Has anyone over 30 not seen this film? Does anyone not know how to do the “Time Warp”? Does anyone not have a teddy and black fishnets? (I don’t. Really! I don’t!)


6. The Kentucky Fried Movie: ROTFLMAO. "This is Buttkiss, Klahn's bodyguard - he is tough and ruthless. This is Kwong, Klahn's chauffeur - he is rough and toothless.“ You may not fully appreciate the humor in this film unless you lived through the ‘70s. Some of the things they did in this film they would NEVER do in a film today. It is brought to you by the same people that did Airplane and the Naked Gun series. Warning: The Kentucky Fried Movie has nudity.

The rest of the list is below the fold. Go to the end of the post and click "We want to read more!"


7. 2001: A Space Odyssey : I actually didn't see this until after I saw Star Wars. It was still very impressive despite the freaky ending. Hated 2010 though.


8. Big Trouble in Little China: Kurt Russell is Jack Burton. “Who?” “Jack Burton! Me!” Russell swaggers like the Duke in the homage to chop socky movies. It is a tradition among my friends to watch it every Chinese New Years. And it is the only John Carpenter film that I will admit liking without reservation. Carpenter has a history of letting his anti-Christian sentiment leak out in his films.


9. Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan: My favorite of the Star Trek movies. Bad guys were bad guys and needed their bad butts kicked. And no one comes close to Kirk in that department.


10. In the Heat of the Night: Sidney Poitier and Rod Steiger made an incredible team in this film. I have more respect for it’s portrayal of race relations in the south than I do for the TV series it spawned. The TV show just oozed “PC”.


11. Godzilla vs. (Just about anybody!) “OH NO! They say he's got to go. Go! Go! Godzilla!” I will always have a spot for Japanese monster flicks. They are so campy and corny, what’s not to like? I like Gamera films too!(Gamera! Gamera! Gamera is really neat! He’s full of turtle meat! We’re eating Gamera…)


12. Joy Luck Club: Two and a half hour chick flick of doom! I got caught up in the scenes that took place in China. The decadence, the hedonism and Godlessness. Compelling story telling.


13. The Boys in the Band: A drive-in date movie? Well that's how I saw it. It wasn't even my date. I was 10 years old and my Mom and her boyfriend wanted to see this movie. She dragged all of us along. (No babysitter for the four of us and we got in free)  This was my introduction to the gay agenda. I was too young to understand it then but even so, I thought it was weird that all these men were in this house with no girls talking about loving each other. It was ground breaking. Ground that should never have been broken. Thanks Mom.

Well I hope this was a fruitful exercise in letting you know more about Dane Bramage.

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Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

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Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Church And State: Top Seven Myths of Homosexuality

Move over Mythbusters. As much as I enjoyed the whole "man strapped rockets to his chair" and the "Archimedes Death Ray Compitition", Adam and Jamie have nothing on Nathan Bradfield. Nathan blogs at Church and State and has a post on Top Seven Myths of Homosexuality. You know like "People are born gay" and "Ten percent of the population is homosexual" and other agenda based lies. Nathan notes:

Myth #6: The Bible doesn't Condemn Homosexuality--Only Promiscuity.

In recent years, several mainline denominations have abandoned traditional interpretations of Scripture and have embraced the "Gay-Christian" movement. Similarly, people claim that Paul's statements were only addressed to believers back then and are not relevant today. But God's Word - which is unchanging and stands forever - gives us a different story.

Fact: God clearly condemns any sexual act outside of heterosexual marriage.

He has facts and scripture to debunk these myths.

Alas the liberal crowd ain't buying it as evidenced in his comments. Be sure to check them out too. Nathan does a good job dealing with them.

HT:DL Foster at Perspectives in Motion who introduced me to the term webmonkeys. Thanks DL.