Rumor has it that Evil Glenn has a Summer Camp. My agent Deep Pup went in undercover and managed to intercept this letter from one of the little tykes. He is writing home about his experiences at Camp Glenn.
Dear Mom and Dad
We got to Mr. Glenn’s Summer Camp okay. So far we have been doing lots of stuff. Mostly crafts. Mr. Glenn says crafts is good for us. I wanted to make a pot holder for you, Mom and a wallet for Dad but Mr. Glenn only lets us make DVD players. I made 180 DVD players today. Mr. Glenn called me a slacker. He said Lo Phin and his brothers from China can make 14 DVD players an hour. I only did 10. I asked if we could keep one and Mr. Glenn said his distributors won’t allow it. Johnny tried to hide one under his bench for his mom but the counselors found it and took Johnny away.
When we don’t have crafts we have fun time. The man in charge of fun time is Mr. Jackson. He’s really weird looking, all pasty and skinny. He sings a lot and likes to walk backwards. Today we played a game called “Sit on Mr. Jackson’s Lap”. Billy won 8 times. I don’t think the girls know how to play because the boys kept winning.
The food is terrible. Mr. Glenn says we have to have a liquid diet. So every meal is smoothie this and smoothie that. They all taste the same. And the smell reminds me of the time Scamp got his leg caught in the chipper shredder.
Well I have to go now. Mr. Jackson says it’s time to take my shower. Mr. Jackson is the boys hygiene monitor too. He really likes his job. I will write again tomorrow and tell you how my second day at camp goes.
This has been a Filthy Lie Assignment